Coaching Archives

What Is the Isolation Tax in Leadership?

What Is the Isolation Tax? Isolation isn’t just a social issue—it’s a career and business killer. Think of the biggest breaks and insights that impacted your life. How many came out of the blue or by chance? A shot in the dark? Probably not many. They came from meaningful connections, deep conversations, and people that challenged your thinking.

The problem is we are getting more and more isolated as a society. What’s worse for business leaders is there are fewer and fewer people with whom you can have real, trusting conversations who aren’t also vested in the outcomes. As a result, you become more isolated the higher you go and the more successful you get.

Yet you can’t leave your personal and professional growth to chance and face the isolation tax alone.

What Is the Isolation Tax and How Does It Manifest as a Cost?

Missed Opportunities – Without a strong network and trusted thought partners, business leaders miss out on deals, collaborations, and career-defining moments.
Slower Decision-Making – Lacking diverse, objective perspectives can lead to hesitation, second-guessing, and costly mistakes.
Stagnation – Without outside challenges, leaders risk reinforcing their own blind spots, making it harder to grow and innovate.
Emotional and Mental Strain – Leadership can be lonely, and without trusted advisors, the stress can lead to burnout and poor decision-making.
Aid for the Extrovert – Many leaders are extroverted thinkers and literally need to think outloud, but the walls don’t talk back. You need someone you can trust to help you speed up your think by being present.

The “Isolation Tax” in Action

The Business Owner – Running a company can be an echo chamber. Without external advisors, you may struggle to see inefficiencies or new market opportunities.
The CEO/Executive – The higher you climb, the fewer people will tell you the truth. A thought partner ensures you hear what you need to hear, not just what others think you want to hear.
The Entrepreneur – Investors and employees have vested interests. A coach or mentor helps you navigate critical decisions without bias.
The Professional in Transition – Making a career pivot without external insights can lead to missteps. A mentor, coach, or thought partner accelerates the process and reduces risk.

How You Can Reverse the Isolation Tax

Engage a Thought Partner or Advisor – A trusted external perspective brings fresh insights, constructive challenges, and strategic thinking.
Build a Personal Advisory Board – Surround yourself with experienced mentors, peers, and experts who provide objective guidance.
Invest in Personal and Professional Coaching – A coach helps you break out of isolation, sharpen your vision, and accelerate your success.

The Smartest Investment You Can Make

For those experiencing the isolation tax—especially in matters that intersect both personal and professional growth—coaching isn’t an expense; it’s a capital investment in yourself. The most expensive thing you’ll ever pay for is isolation. The best way to avoid it is by getting a coach.

Get connected to get ahead.

Ready to break free from the isolation tax? Let’s start the conversation.

Grab a free coaching session with me here.

Why I Don’t Sign NDAs (And Why You Probably Shouldn’t Ask)

Over my 20+ years of building startups, I’ve had multiple people ask me to sign NDAs for their new projects. It’s a great sign that people are always working on fresh ideas, and I’m honored that people want to share theirs with me. But signing an NDA? That’s a losing deal for everyone, and I don’t do it.

This has been talked about for years by others in varying ways, but I wanted to bring it all together in a form I could pass along to early-stage founders quickly. Hence this post. So if you already know the drill, head to my newsletter for other business and leadership insights. But if you haven’t heard, here’s why I’ll probably decline your NDA request:

It signals distrust. Asking me to sign an NDA before you’ve shared a word is the equivalent of saying, “I don’t trust you.” And yet, you’re asking for my help? That’s a rough way to start a new relationship.
It costs me time and money. Legal documents aren’t trivial. I’d have to pay a lawyer to review a contract without knowing if the idea even warrants that investment in legal work. No, I won’t “just sign it” because every contract is binding, whether I read it or not.
Ideas aren’t rare. Harsh truth: Great ideas are everywhere. There is no idea marketplace, which tells us the value of an idea is zero. Execution, on the other hand, is what separates success from noise. If your idea is so fragile that disclosure alone could kill it, it’s already on shaky ground.
It puts me at risk. If someone else shares a similar idea with me later, I could get caught in legal trouble through no fault of my own. Speaking from experience, I can tell you that I have heard the same idea in different forms or the same form many times. This is the nature of being an investor. Signing an NDA means stepping into liability I didn’t ask for.
Trust is earned. If I had a history of breaking trust, you’d already know. You’d see it on the internet because reputation travels fast. If you have done your research and don’t believe I can be trusted, why are we having this conversation at all?
It limits my ability to help you. The best thing I can do is talk about your startup to investors, partners, and potential hires. An NDA ties my hands and prevents me from connecting you to the very people who could make a difference.
It can make you look amateurish. Not always, but often. Many experienced founders know NDAs are unnecessary barriers. A good investor or mentor isn’t going to sign one before hearing you out.
Don’t give me your secret sauce. NDAs are often unnecessary because I don’t need to know the secret sauce to understand the value of what you are doing. If it is a special algorithm, formula, or widget, I don’t need to know how it works—I just need to be assured through validated testing that it gets the job done.

That said, NDAs have their place. Clients hiring me? Sure. Contractors working with sensitive data? Absolutely. Large corporations with established processes? Fine. But for an entrepreneur with a new idea, an NDA won’t make you look serious—it will just make sharing harder than it needs to be.

If your idea is in a delicate phase, only share it with people you trust. But remember—most ideas gain momentum when more people know about them, champion them, and want to see them succeed. The best strategy? Build something so compelling that people want to spread the word for you—no contract required.

Guide to Unlock Your Potential

Embark on the journey of personal and professional development with this guide to unlock your potential. Whether you’re an entrepreneur, a business leader, or a professional aiming to elevate your career, understanding how to fully tap into your capabilities is essential — it is time to unlock your vast and full potential within. This guide provides actionable strategies and insights for achieving transformative growth and success in both your personal life and business endeavors.

Exploring Personal and Business Potential

Maximizing potential means harnessing your innate talents and applying them towards your aspirations. It’s a process of breaking barriers, overcoming challenges, and realizing your true capacity for growth. In the business world, this translates to career advancement, fostering a culture of innovation, and driving continuous improvement.

Strategy Guide to Unlock Your Potential

Self-Assessment and Goal Setting: Start with a deep dive into your strengths and weaknesses. Establish clear, attainable goals that reflect your vision for success.
Lifelong Learning: Embrace continuous education. Stay updated with industry trends and expand your skill set through courses, workshops, or self-directed learning.
Mentorship and Coaching: Leverage the insights and support from mentors or coaches. These relationships can provide personalized advice, foster strategic thinking, and help overcome obstacles.
Networking: Cultivate a robust professional network. Engage in partnerships and collaborations that offer fresh perspectives and opportunities for growth.
Wellness and Balance: Prioritize your health and well-being to sustain success over time. Achieving a healthy work-life balance boosts productivity and satisfaction.
Adaptability and Resilience: Develop the ability to adapt to change and recover from setbacks. These skills are crucial for capitalizing on opportunities and maintaining progress.
Strategic Planning: Craft a detailed plan for your personal and business goals. Focus on efficient resource management, task prioritization, and flexible strategies to stay aligned with your objectives.

The benefits of using the guide to unlock your potential are below.

Benefits from the Guide to Unlock Your Potential

Committing to your personal and business potential can yield remarkable benefits:

Elevated Performance: Enhance your productivity by playing to your strengths and addressing weaknesses.
Staying Competitive: Keep ahead in a fast-paced market through innovation and continuous learning.
Personal Satisfaction: Find fulfillment in achieving your goals and realizing your potential.
Business Advancement: Drive growth and success with strategic planning and resilience.

Conclusion

This guide to unlock your potential is just the start. The journey is ongoing and dynamic, demanding dedication and strategic action. By adopting the strategies highlighted in this guide, you embark on a transformative journey towards unparalleled success and fulfillment in all aspects of your life.

Relevant Links:

Harvard Business Review – The Value of Mentoring

https://hbr.org/2019/02/the-value-of-mentoring

Guide to Conducting a Personal SWAT Analysis

https://bschool.pepperdine.edu/blog/posts/personal-swot-analysis-guide.htm

Booking Your First Coaching Session: Big Step in Transformation

Booking your coaching session starts a BIG journey of personal and professional transformation and signals that you not only possess the determination, but also are willing to invest in right the mentorship for change. Scheduling your initial coaching session is far from a mere formality; this meeting is the key to unlocking your potential. Let’s explore why this session is pivotal and how it can leverage it to catalyze growth in every facet of your life.

The Crucial First Coaching Session

The initial coaching session is more than an introduction—it’s the foundation of your transformation journey. Here’s why booking your coaching session is so vital:

Assess Compatibility: It’s your chance to see if the coach’s style and expertise match your needs.
Clarify Objectives: Together, you’ll pinpoint your goals, ensuring you and your coach are aligned from the start.
Strategic Planning: You’ll start to outline a plan tailored to your unique challenges, setting the path toward your objectives.
Trust Building: Establishing trust and rapport early on is essential for a fruitful coaching relationship.

Preparing for Your First Coaching Session

Now that you have booked your first coaching session it is time to make the most of this opportunity with preparation. Here are some strategies:

Goal Reflection: Clearly define your short-term and long-term goals. Specificity is your ally.
Challenge Identification: List your current challenges or areas where you feel stuck to give your coach a clear starting point.
Open Mindset: Come ready to explore and engage. The more open you are, the more you’ll gain.
Question Preparation: Arm yourself with questions about their coaching approach, experiences, and success stories.

Booking your first coaching session is the key to success

The Benefits of Booking a Coaching Session

Taking the step to schedule your first session can unlock numerous advantages:

Tailored Advice: Receive guidance specifically designed for your situation and goals.
Self-Awareness Boost: Uncover your strengths and areas for improvement, paving the way for targeted growth.
Actionable Plan: Leave with a clear strategy to propel you towards your objectives.
Motivation Surge: Begin your journey motivated and accountable, thanks to your coaching partnership.

Conclusion

Booking your initial coaching session is a significant leap toward achieving your personal and professional aspirations. It’s an investment in your future, promising personalized insights, strategic direction, and the support necessary for reaching your goals. By actively preparing for and participating in this session, you’re laying the groundwork for a transformative experience that can lead to remarkable success and growth.

Relevant Links:

Forbes – How To Build Trust With Your Coach

https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2017/05/08/how-to-build-trust-with-your-coach/

MindTools – Setting Personal Goals

https://www.mindtools.com/page6.html

Trust in Coaching Relationships

Trust in coaching relationships is the most important element of transformation. It’s the conduit through which insights flow between the coach to the client, growth is nurtured, and a big transformation is realized. Trust facilitates effective coaching engagements and enables transformative outcomes.

Understanding Trust in Coaching

Trust in coaching goes way beyond mere confidence in a coach’s capabilities and knowledge; it encompasses a belief in the coaches intentions, confidentiality, and the process the coach uses. The client needs to not only feel safe, but also be safe to share vulnerabilities, challenges, and aspirations without fear of judgment. This foundation allows the coaching relationship to flourish, enabling open, honest dialogue and the exploration of deep-seated beliefs and behaviors that could be holding the client back.

Building Trust: The Coach’s Role

A coach’s ability to build and maintain trust is paramount. This involves:

Empathy and Active Listening: Demonstrating understanding and genuine care for the coaching client’s experiences and goals.
Consistency and Reliability: Being consistently present and dependable, meeting commitments, and following through on promises.
Confidentiality: Ensuring that all shared information remains private, reinforcing the safety of the coaching space.
Non-judgmental Support: Offering support without judgment, creating an environment where the coachee feels accepted and valued.

River of Trust in Coaching Relationships

The Impact of Trust in Coaching Relationship Outcomes

When trust is firmly established, the coaching relationship can lead to profound personal and professional transformations:

Openness and Honesty: Trust encourages coaching clients to share more openly, providing a fuller picture of their challenges and aspirations, which is crucial for effective coaching.
Deeper Insights: A trusted environment fosters self-reflection and the exploration of underlying beliefs, leading to more significant insights and breakthroughs.
Enhanced Commitment: Trust in the process and the coach increases the coachee’s commitment to taking bold steps and implementing changes.
Sustainable Growth: Trust facilitates a deeper, more impactful coaching experience, leading to sustainable personal and professional growth.

Nurturing Trust in Coaching Relationships

For those seeking coaching, finding a coach with whom you can build a trusting relationship is essential. Consider initial interactions as indicators of potential trustworthiness and pay attention to your instincts about the coach’s empathy, integrity, and professionalism.

Conclusion

Trust is not just a component of the coaching relationship; it is its very foundation of the coaching relationship that enables the open exchange of ideas, the vulnerability necessary for growth, and the courage to face challenges and be transformed. For coaches and coachees alike, investing in building and maintaining trust is the key to unlocking the full potential of the coaching journey, leading to lasting personal and professional transformation.

Relevant Links:

Harvard Business Review (HBR) – The Neuroscience of Trust

https://hbr.org/2017/01/the-neuroscience-of-trust

Famous Leaders Who Had Coaches

https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2022/10/04/what-we-can-learn-from-five-famous-leaders-who-had-a-coach/

Maximizing Growth: Dual Impact of Seasoned Business Coaching

In the fast-paced realm of entrepreneurship, achieving peak personal and business growth transcends mere hard work. It demands the strategic insight and support of a seasoned business coach—a partnership that unlocks both personal and professional evolution.

The Essence of Business Coaching

At its core, business coaching is a bespoke journey, fostering personal and professional milestones through strategic guidance and accountability. This partnership is designed to navigate challenges, seize opportunities, and drive significant growth, blending innovative solutions with industry best practices for a holistic path to success.

Transformative Benefits of a Seasoned Business Coach

Strategic Decision-Making: Empowerment through critical evaluation tools, bolstering confidence and strategic acumen.
Boosted Productivity: Identification and elimination of bottlenecks, streamlining processes for operational excellence.
Personal Mastery: A deep dive into self-awareness, unlocking one’s full potential through personal growth.
Business Expansion: Goal-oriented strategies for scalable, competitive growth.
Leadership Excellence: Cultivation of leadership qualities, enhancing team dynamics and corporate culture.

Seasoned Business Coaching, an Abstract Visualization

Who Stands to Gain?

Business coaching is universally beneficial—tailored for entrepreneurs, startup visionaries, and corporate leaders alike, across all industries. It’s the catalyst for those aiming to scale heights, refine leadership prowess, or steer through transitions with precision.

Selecting Your Seasoned Business Coach

The impact of a business coach is profound, making the choice of coach pivotal. Consider:

Proven Success: A coach with a track record of success and relevant expertise.
Goal Alignment: A philosophy and approach that resonate with your objectives.
Relational Dynamics: Opt for a coach with whom you share a natural rapport and trust.

Conclusion

The path to personal and business growth is complex, demanding not just vision but strategic execution and a commitment to learning. Business coaching is a structured, empowering partnership that catalyzes your journey towards achieving ambitious goals. It’s a strategic move for those dedicated to transforming their personal capabilities and business ventures into remarkable successes. Get a seasoned business coach today to enhance your personal and professional life.

Relevant Links:

Forbes Coaches Council – Strategies for Scaling Your Business https://www.forbes.com/coaches-council/

Harvard Business Review (HBR) – The Value of Coaching

https://hbr.org/2009/01/what-can-coaches-do-for-you

International Coach Federation (ICF) – About Coaching

https://coachingfederation.org/about

An Invitation

Deep down we all know that we can be more, much more.

There is a future picture of ourselves in each of us that is much bigger and more exciting than where we are now. But are we ready to take the courageous path to become that new version of ourselves?

“Wanting what you want” is not only about being free and living life based on great choices and new commitments, it is also about painting a much, much bigger picture for yourself and those you lead, while also getting on the right path that looks scary and full of unknowns.

Most of us are avoiding the courageous pathway to get us to that bigger future. What we are each missing is an invitation to become courageous — to become a new version of ourselves. Sadly, most will never get that invitation. But now I am extending that invitation to you. I’d like to invite you to take the remainder of this year to be much more so that you can swing through to a transformational 2023. I want you to be intellectually excited and emotionally committed to that new big future.

If you are reading this post, please know that I believe in you, perhaps more than you believe in yourself. As a result, I want you to dream of a bigger future for yourself and remember that in life you don’t get what you deserve. You get what you think you deserve. You need to have courage to want what you want and at the same time eliminate lesser goals that are distracting you. I invite you to dream and take the right kind of risks that play to your distinctive strengths and discovery a bigger present.

Keep dreaming because when your future gets bigger, your present gets better.

When 10X Isn’t Enough

Most leaders understand the core elements of personal and professional achievement: write down goals, make a plan of action to achieve the goals, share the goals with a friend or coach, and have a weekly check-in with that friend or coach. This method has a 76% success rate. This is a great approach to living and growing. With a coach there to help you through these steps you could really see an appreciable difference over the course of a lifetime or even over the course of a couple of years in a specific realm of life. Some coaches go a bit further and go beyond obstacles to help address Beliefs and Inner Conflicts. These added realms of consideration could get you to a 10 X difference over a lifetime.

When I began thinking about what it would take to be a great coach I had a 10 X mindset. However, I wasn’t feeling great about it. Reflecting on my readings of the top coaches, top leaders, and how top athletes of the world operate and applying my learnings to my coaching practice, I sat unsatisfied. One night my brain kept me up, literally. I was chewing on this dissatisfaction. I was hitting back with advice I had already given to countless other people, particularly in the past 2 years of the pandemic: we are entitled to the limits we put on ourselves. That was the revelation I needed. 10 X growth seems like a lot and most leaders would be very satisfied with 10 X personal and professional growth. However 10 X isn’t extraordinary. We are in the age of unicorns and now have decacorns. We see multi-trillion dollar market caps in public companies built in our lifetimes. We have several multi-billionaires running multiple companies. Three of these went to space on their own rocket ships in 2021. Maybe we are leaving some life on the table with 10 X thinking.

It is not just about the money and fame. A life can be unlived in many ways. However, navigating blindly and with self-imposed limits – in a world where technology, knowledge access, and more allow us to experience and accomplish way more than prior generations – is flat out very hard. If you are reading this you have come face-to-face with yourself and your own life and even the truth that you may be “leaving life on the table.” We now understand that there is much more we can do than even our childhood selves could have imagined. There are way more people that we can help and impact. There is a bigger legacy or institution that we can leave behind. There is a daunting personal pursuit that we are avoiding.

An order of magnitude difference would have been fine, but now you know there is something else. Deep down you know there is a more courageous path that you are avoiding or have yet to discover. For those that understand this, 10 X mindsets just will not cut it.

Speaking at a Wedding on Lasting Partnership in Love & Business

I was recently asked to speak at the wedding ceremony of two of our founders (in separate businesses) that met in Memphis by participating in our accelerator. They asked me to speak on, and this is a direct quote: “Relating characteristics of 1) creating a great partnership as co-founders to build a successful company to 2) creating a great partnership in life / marriage for a successful relationship.” Here is what their prompt and their love inspired. I have altered the names and some facts to give some privacy to the couple. Enjoy and let me know what you think.

Spoken on the Occassion of Your Wedding

Good afternoon. I am Eric Mathews. I’m not the best man. And thankfully so. Sam you are certainly the best man for putting up with James for these 9 plus years. Nonetheless, it is a great honor to be here and be asked to speak.

For those who don’t know me, I’m the first investor for many business partners who come to Memphis, Tennessee to build and launch a new, amazing technology based business. James and Kimberly entered into our program in separate businesses in 2013 and found way more than business in Memphis – they found each other. With this in mind, James and Kimberly asked me to speak at their wedding ceremony on how business partnerships and lifelong loving partnerships are, at their core, the same.

For those gathered here today wondering, the answer is YES.

I was apprehensive to speak in business terms at a wedding ceremony. However, given the trust and love I’ve felt from and between James and Kimberly, I got comfortable with the words. More so I hope their love that inspired these words will inspire each of us to bring more love and care back into our daily lives and to the world of business. James and Kimberly, I’m grateful for the trust you have placed in me here.

So let’s start at the beginning and the first foundation. In the first days of our business accelerator program, we have the new business partners review their personality types to better understand one another. Next, we ask them to answer tough questions openly and honestly with each other. We also place them into tough and uncomfortable situations where they will have to come together and rise and fall as a team. This is all done because one the biggest causes of business failure is having a dysfunctional team with poor interpersonal dynamics. I think we can all identify with the importance. We all need strong partners that have complementary strengths to account for our weaknesses. We need the strength of honesty, when things are going wrong. We seek mutual respect to understand that failure is an event and not a person. We need the personal strength to accept and solve our own problems, our partners problems, and your collective problems without blaming the other person. We need open communication so that nothing is hidden including unspoken expectations, personal needs, or opportunities for growth.

All great partnerships require a daily commitment to these relationship principles to be lasting.

This leads to the next foundation that our entrepreneurs learn in Memphis: start with “why.” Why do we wake up each day? What is our collective purpose and intent? Purpose drives great entrepreneurship but also great love. You and your partner wake up with a shared purpose to change the world and each other for the better. Money is not a sufficient motivator in business and marrying for money can lead to far worse. Money is not sufficient because of the amount of sacrifice needed for mutual success. You need a purpose around which you wake up everyday and are motivated to help each other succeed as individuals as well as a unit. You will need to understand and contextualize your purpose so that you can celebrate the small victories, lift each other up in defeat, be excited to discover the unknown together, and to work together to leave the world a better place — these are the true rewards.

All great partnerships require a daily commitment to purpose to be lasting in the good times and in the harder times.

Finally, there is a step beyond the foundations of building a great team relationship and defining and living with great purpose. A great team and a great purpose will get you started, but over time we’ve found that you need something that helps guide you over the long haul. You need a manner in which you can evaluate whether your partnership is on track or whether you need to course correct. You need a lens by which you can evaluate tough decisions where perhaps there are no good solutions or the opposite scenario where there are too many good options. You need a way to evaluate the unexpected together. We find that the best partners in life and in business mutually hold the same core values and beliefs. These guideposts are unique to each partnership and help all partners make great decisions daily in service of one another and the purpose and intent of their relationship.

All great partnerships require a daily commitment to core values and beliefs to help them stay on track.

Kimberly and James, arriving at a business accelerator in Memphis, I think we would all expect to find great business opportunities and great friendships. However, I don’t think love and marriage would have been an outcome that any of us would have placed bets on in May of 2013. Yet here we are and it is testament to each of you. You have the kind of love that empowers not only each other, but also empowers those gathered here today who can feel it and be better for it.

May your commitment to each other, to great purpose, and to your core values and beliefs be your guide forever and always.

Anti-Conformity in Authentic Leadership

I have experienced feeling out of place and that made me who I am today. Some tried to sand me down, and at times I thought conformity was the best way to get ahead, but once I got to college, and even more so when I started my own business, I realized I needed to be my authentic self to succeed and lead. Now that I’m even older and wiser I realize how conformity can creep into so many aspects of life.

For instance, I’ve been working in the tech startup world for a while and it is easy to get caught in comparisons with Silicon Valley. Silicon Valley is held up as the standard for disruptive anti-conformity and innovation. However, most in Silicon Valley are conforming. Leaders who draw comparisons between themselves and their communities and Silicon Valley are using conformist thinking that is limiting. Conformity in Silicon Valley looks like fitting into founder archetypes like being either highly technical or highly visionary. Conformity gets you a startup executive coach that has his or her own conformity mindset on what coaching is. Conformity gets you looking for examples to follow from the books you read. Can we truly lead with fancy business school degrees and majority views of success? I think it maybe the hardest way to lead.

Conformity creeps into everything and is the enemy of authentic and real leadership. Conformity is what we are fighting inside ourselves and in the world. We need the courage to think differently and take the most courageous path and not the well trodden pathway that has been portrayed as the road less traveled.

To lead yourself and others on courageous pathways, you need to be true to yourself — not a sanded down, conformist version. When you aren’t yourself or acting authentically, people detect that and then they try to find out why you are not acting authentically. Trying to find out why you aren’t acting like your true self breeds distrust in you and your leadership. When we are trying to lead others and move to the next levels, we must realize that people prefer leaders who are authentic and different because it makes leadership appear accessible to all in the care of our leadership and they in turn will strive for more too. You thus inspire others to lead themselves.

So my invitation to you is to have the courage to be yourself, get out of the comfort and conformity of life, and find your own path so that others will be inspired to find theirs too.